My rating: 4 stars out of 5
Fractured Memories: Because
Demented People Need Love Too by
Emily Page is a profoundly raw account of one family’s
experience of caring for a father with frontotemporal dementia
(FTD).
The story is told from the perspective of an adult daughter (the author)
who is caring for her father along with her husband and her mother. The
book has three parts. This first part of the book is much like a traditional memoir, with
the author’s experience recounted in a narrative. The
second part of the book reads a bit like a series of journal entries, raw and largely unedited recounts of caring for her father.
The author is an artist, and the third part of the book is a series of
paintings she created that out of her caregiving experience.
The author’s love
for her father is the greatest testament of this book. Yes, the author becomes angry, emotionally
frayed and anxiety-ridden in the seven years she cared for her father, and
sometimes those emotions are even directed at her father. But she never walks from the situation. Underneath
all the difficult emotion was an abundantly present love of a daughter. The
first chapter recounts her father’s life before his diagnosis. It’s
a beautiful celebration of his life before dementia, including his sense of
humor, his extraordinary passion for trains and music, and his time as a
First Lieutenant in the Vietnam War.
Frontotemporal dementia is described as disease of a
thousand goodbyes, like slowly losing the person you love in stages. The author writes:
“When I got home, I,
of course, got online and started researching the disease. What I saw was not
good. Asshole internet, which so very often lies, refused to lie to me that
night. The symptoms all matched: odd social behavior (disinhibition), inability
to make changes or follow complicated instructions, heightened emotion,
depression. Treatment was aimed at managing symptoms, not slowing or stopping
the disease. There were no medications for that. Prognosis: death two to ten
years after diagnosis, probably from pneumonia after aspirating food because of
muscle failure. Two to ten years. Two to ten years. Two to ten years."
The writing style is casual, and portions of the book read
like an email from a friend. It took a while for me to adjust to the casual
style. I very much enoyed the artwork throughout the
book. The author uses images of elephants to portray
herself, her father, and dementia itself because “an elephant never forgets”
and “An elephant’s faithful 100 percent.”
The book ends with a list of songs, a playlist of the music that was
mentioned throughout the book and has a special meaning or memory tied to the
author and her father.
I reviewed this book as part of Rosie's Book Review Team. You can find her book review website here https://rosieamber.wordpress.com/
I reviewed this book as part of Rosie's Book Review Team. You can find her book review website here https://rosieamber.wordpress.com/
